whats gay and american? a gay american

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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I'm rick james bitch

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Adele walks into a bar. The barman says she's too ugly hahahahahahahahahahhahahahha lololololololololololololol

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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