What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

Christianity.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

vitamin c

Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

It's porn, we all knew that, do you have something interesting to say?

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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