Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man, John, is talking amongst a group of friends. He tells a racist joke and sees that one of his colored friends, Mark, is laughing at his joke, but John can tell that Mark's offended. John later apologizes to his friend because that is the right thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -4

an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Obama being reelected.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

david give me my money back... i will have it next week

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops