-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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