What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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Whats worse than being bored, Being you.

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

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Q:What's funny about a Jew marrying a Nazi? A:The situation

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hi

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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