A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

im telling maguire

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

Womens rights

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

What's worse than a dead baby? A baby.

What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

Mom says my name I reply Coming.

Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

The GOV and the WHO?

whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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