Hello

*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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