What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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what's up? my penis.

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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all your base are belong to mark

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Compton

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops