3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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