What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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