laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

What's brown and adhesive? A stick

What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

your face

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

What do the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 all have in common? None of them will get you laid.

If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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