Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Why so serious ?

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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Q:Whats a similarity between your mom and your dad? A:They both hate you -Ryan V

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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