Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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V I T A M I N C !

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Rush Limbaugh

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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