How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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q

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Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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so...um, yeah

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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