i just wrote this so hard

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Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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My Butthole.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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i had a black friend once......just kidding

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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