Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops