Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops