what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

who's a slut... you're mom

Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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