What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

your momma is so stupid shes fricken retarded

The Morman Religion.

If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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