How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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Once upon a time a homeless man was walking down the street. He stopped suddenly and realized he didn't know how to read. So he walked to the library to find someone to teach him. A woman was sitting at one of the tables so the homeless man walked up to her and asked, "Can you teach me how to read?" The woman stared at the homeless man for a few moments. Then she replied to him saying, "Not until you take a bath." Realizing that he smelled awful and that his face was covered in dirt he nodded towards the woman and left to go find a shower house. The homeless man came upon a hotel and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me sir, may I take a shower here?" The receptionist gave the man a long hard look and said, "Not until you find a better set of clothes." The homeless man looked at himself and saw that his clothes were quite old and worn out so he left the hotel to find a clothing store. He finds a clothing store and asks an employee, "Sir, may I have a new shirt, pants, socks, shoes and a pair of underwear?" The employee quickly said in reply, "Not until you pay for them." The homeless man remembered that he indeed was poor and didn't have a penny to his name. So then he walks out of the store to go find a job and make some money. He happens across a storage facility moving many heavy boxes. He walks up to the supervisor and asks, "Pardon me sir, do you need any help with moving these boxes? If you can pay me a few dollars I will help you." The supervisor said to him, "Sure, start moving them to that unit in the corner there. So the homeless man worked until dusk, made $55 dollars, went back to the clothes store, bought new clothes, waked back to the hotel and took a shower, and finally walked over to the library where the woman was still sitting and learned how to read. He walked out of the library feeling accomplished and full of pride. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking. He slipped on the curb into traffic and was hit by a car, dying on impact.

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wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

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how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

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Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

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Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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whats worse than the holocaust? i don't know, the holocaust was pretty bad.

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when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while because you have one tooth and its half chipped.. and your a black mexican red head.

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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