Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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