You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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What do u call old black people in a shed? antique farm equiptment

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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