Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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What happened to the orphan when it walked to the park? He found his birth parents........but then they were killed by a crazy hobo and he was taken away and molested

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops