How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

A black man is picking cotton in a southern white mans field. This is because the white man is paying a more than fair wage and the black man is a 3rd generation cotton picker who enjoys taking part in his heritage.

what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

why did the chinken cross the rode? why? to get to the gay persons house. Knock, Knock. Who's there. the chicken.

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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