Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My Butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What moos like a cow? Another cow

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i have yougurt mit traktor

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i had a black friend once......just kidding

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Check this web out www.hurr-durr.com

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i just wrote this so hard

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Whats a similarity between your mom and your dad? A:They both hate you -Ryan V

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops