A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

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Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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