Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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