Double-whammy

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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No soup for you!

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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