a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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why was the clown sad? died of cancer and left his loving family to fend for themselves in this cruel, cruel world.

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How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops