Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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What comes after 69? 70

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Did you hear about the guy who got run over? Me neither

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops