A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

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What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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A rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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