why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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