How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

Besides the kama-sutra, what is the most popular sex position in India? 68 and 88. Moral: Mutation people... mutation... use your imagination.., Still gotta feel a bit of envy/admiration, it is known as the happiest nation of the world, with a happiness rate with a constant well over 80 percent, and that is FAR over any other nation.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

what goes boo a sock

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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