so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

What's worse than getting a F on your History test? The millions of children around your age that cannot even afford to go to school, most likely because they live in a third world country.

Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

what smells like tuna? my underwear

What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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