A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

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A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

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why was the clown sad? died of cancer and left his loving family to fend for themselves in this cruel, cruel world.

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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Tilt your screen back .

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

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WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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