What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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