Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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canadians

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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