how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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shut up elliot

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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