There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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the WNBA

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops