9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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How come the bartender didnt let the black guys in the bar Because the bar was closed.noone was aloud in the bar

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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