I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her and kill her family.

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What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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If you dont see banners here it does mean they are not here. P.S Advertising helps fill our pockets and annoy you. Please be understanding in the fact that we will permaban you while grinning if you refuse to UNDER-stand our rule.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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The Morman Religion.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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