What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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Want to hear a scary story?' I was droppin a two ball and the monster walked in

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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Knock Knock Who's there The Holocaust!

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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