A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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To mamma so fat..............nuff said

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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