Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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