Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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Why did the cupcake walk into the bar? It can't it's a cupcake

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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feminists.

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Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops