what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I don't believe in giraffes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

thumb_up thumb_down +5

if a joke has not punch line, how does that strike you?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue Poems don't have to rhyme

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why cant fat people walk because they are fat

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops