Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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G

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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