Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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WNBA

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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