Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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