What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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Your dad isn't gay...but his boyfriend..HES REALLY GAY!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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