3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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