What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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WNBA

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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