Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Click here to end the world.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

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A bar walks into a man

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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