How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

thumb_up thumb_down +14

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A bar walks into a man

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Black people being friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops